The Myth of You: Tracing the Shape of Your Becoming
Most wellness and transformation professionals wander around acting like their life is made up of a random string of events with no connection to each other. They act as if they just decided to be a coach, a therapist, a healer, or a guide, as if they weren’t driven to it by a life full of experience and conditioning. They don’t see that their work was as inevitable as a river flowing downhill, shaped by every rock, curve, and invisible force acting upon it.
And when they come to me for help, the first thing I tell them is, that’s not how it works.
Your life doesn’t just happen to you—it unfolds in a way that is deeply structured by who you are and what you’ve encountered. Nothing about you is random. You are the exact, logical outcome of everything that came before you—a living, breathing myth in motion.
And the sooner you realize that, the sooner you’ll stop wasting time on things that were never yours in the first place.
Causality: You Were Always Going to Be This
This is where I lose some people because they don’t like the idea that their life has a determined shape. That their choices weren’t made in a vacuum but were set up by everything that came before. But here’s the deal:
You don’t just wake up one day and decide to be a ballet teacher if you’ve never had any interaction with ballet. There has to be a condition, a thread, a pull that existed before the choice was even possible.
Similarly, you don’t become a therapist because you thought, hmm, that seems fun. You become a therapist because you were already doing the work before you even knew it was work. Because you were the one people confided in when you were 12. Because you were picking up on things no one else was noticing. Because something in your life—your own pain, your own hypersensitivity, your own childhood role—set you up for it.
It’s all connected. It always has been.
Seeing Your Life as Myth:
The second you zoom out, you start seeing the myth you’ve been living inside of this whole time.
Myths are just causal patterns turned into stories. They all follow the same logic:
1. Core Wound → The Trigger: Every myth starts with a break, a rupture. Something happens that sets the whole story into motion.
Maybe you were neglected, unseen, told you weren’t enough. Maybe you grew up responsible for everyone else’s emotions. Maybe you were pushed into something that wasn’t yours and spent years trying to make it fit.
Your main transformation in one sense can be looked at as a reaction to your core wound.
2. The Early Years → Your Uncorrupted Self: Before the world got to you, before you learned what was expected of you, you were just a weird little kid following the things you found interesting.
What were those things? What were you obsessed with? What did you do for no reason at all?
These can be looked at as the essential parts of you. Some of these essential parts need to be included in what you do for you to feel happy, fulfilled and expressed.
3. The Seeking Years → Looking for the Missing Piece: Your 20s (or 30s or 40s—this happens at different times for different people) were the phase where you started searching.
You didn’t know exactly what for, but you knew something was missing.
Maybe you chased relationships that mirrored your childhood wounds.
Maybe you bounced between careers, trying to find something that actually felt right.
Maybe you went through some kind of major loss, heartbreak, crisis.
This is where the story heats up.
4. The Transformation → Major Breakdown / Breaking the Old Pattern: At some point, something clicked.
You hit a wall.
You realized you couldn’t keep doing things the way you had been.
You saw the pattern and finally broke it.
This is your transformation. And it was always going to happen, because everything before it was leading you here. It’s actually not magic, it’s science.
5. The Work → Turning Your Myth into Service: And now here you are. Doing work that—if you’re really honest—is just an extension of your own transformation.
This is why your work is not random. You are serving past versions of yourself. You are creating the thing you needed at an earlier point in your own story.
The more you understand this, the more you stay aligned in your work. You stop forcing things that don’t fit. You stop attracting clients who don’t resonate. You stop trying to be everything to everyone because you realize your work is only for the people who are living a chapter you’ve already passed through.
How to Map Your Own Myth
Alright, time to test this on yourself. If you can see the pattern, you can work with it instead of against it. Here’s how:
Core Wound: What is the biggest rupture in your early life? What did you learn to do as a result?
Early Interests: Before you started molding yourself to expectations, what were you drawn to? What did you do without anyone telling you to?
Seeking Phase: What did you obsess over in your 20s? What were you struggling with? What patterns played out over and over?
Transformation: What is the biggest shift you’ve undergone? What were the conditions that led to it?
Your Work: How does your transformation show up in the work you do now? Who is your work really for?
Sit with these. Trace the threads. Watch as they reveal the story that was always unfolding.
Your Life Has a Shape—Now Work With It
You can either live your myth consciously or unconsciously.
Most people are doing it unconsciously. They keep repeating the same loops, the same relationships, the same struggles because they don’t realize they’re inside a story that has structure—that structure is their own psyche, their own lens.
When you step outside and see it clearly, you start working with it. You stop resisting what is inevitable and start actually partnering with your own becoming.
If you follow the causal thread of your life all the way back, you will see that you were never going to be anything other than what you are.
The version of you reading this right now was always going to exist.
Your transformation was inevitable. Your work is inevitable.
And the moment you recognize that, you stop trying to be something else and finally, finally, start being exactly what you were meant to be.